FGF
valentine's day edition
Happy FGF / Friday the 13th and let me be the first to wish you a very Happy Valentine’s Day / Single Awareness Day / Galentine’s Day / Anti-Capitalism / Hallmark-Holiday day to all who celebrate! And what do you know it. In honor of the big day, I have very big plans. Those plans include…working all day! Yay!
Society seemingly divides into four very specific groups on 2/14:
1. People in new relationships who are pretending to be chill about it.
2. People in long-term relationships who are pretending it’s “just another day.”
3. Single people who are pretending they don’t give a shit.
4. This stupid guy. But I digress.
Let’s start with the new couples.
If you’ve been dating someone for less than three months, Valentine’s Day is less of a holiday and more of a pop quiz. There are no clear instructions. Is it flowers? Is it dinner? Is it a thoughtful handwritten letter that hints at emotional availability but not marriage?
You text your friends: “Are we doing gifts?” “What is the vibe?” “Is a candle too intimate?”
Nothing reveals your attachment style faster than trying to pick a February 14th present for someone who still says “haha” instead of “I miss you.”
Now let’s talk about long-term couples. These are the brave soldiers who say things like, “We don’t need Valentine’s Day to show our love.”
Okay, but like, are you still going to attempt to go to dinner? Yes. Yes, you are.
Because here’s the thing: if you do nothing, it feels like something. Even if you both agree to do nothing, you’re still both quietly evaluating the nothing.
You wake up like: “Wow. Not even a card.” “I thought we said no gifts.”“Yes, but like… a gesture.”
Love is beautiful!
And then there’s the restaurant industrial complex. Valentine’s Day prix fixe menus are the Hunger Games of romance. You will pay $110 for a three-course meal that includes:
A salad you didn’t choose. A chicken you can’t even eat because you’re vegan. A chocolate lava cake that tastes like sandpaper. And you’ll eat it next to 47 other couples also trying to prove something.
Meanwhile, the waiter is speed-walking between tables like Cupid with a timesheet.
But low-key? I kind of love it.
I love the chaos. The forced romance. The red and pink everything. The CVS aisle that looks like it was attacked by a glitter factory. The giant teddy bears that no adult needs but many adults secretly want.
I love the unhinged Valentine’s Day cards. The ones that say shit like: “I love you more than pizza.” Sir. That is a serious claim. I love… whatever this is.
And the candy hearts that taste like chalk? “Be Mine.” “Call Me.” “U Up?” The confidence of those tiny pastel lies! Chefs kiss. Mwah.
And, of course, let’s not forget the singles.
As a former veteran of 18.5 consecutive Valentine’s Days alone, I can say this: the trick is to romanticize yourself.
Buy the flowers. Wear the outfit. Make the reservation. Order the dessert. Fall in love with your own main-character energy. (Gross.)
Because here’s what I’ve come to realize is the secret: Valentine’s Day isn’t actually about couples and capitalism. It’s about vulnerability. Admitting you care about something. Someone. Hell, even if that someone is yourself.
It’s about sending that risky text you’ve written out and deleted 27 times, making the stupid, overpriced dinner reservation, buying the dumb balloon.
Is it commercial? Absolutely. Is it manufactured? Obviously.
Will I still cry at a surprise proposal video set to an acoustic Taylor Swift song? Probably. (Especially if a happy dog is involved.)
So yeah, the older I get, the more I realize love isn’t just the cinematic stuff that is easy to roll eyes at—rose petals and airport reunions. It’s someone picking up your favorite snack without being asked. Someone sitting next to you when you’re anxious. Someone knowing your coffee order. Someone letting you have the last tater tot. SOMEONE PICKING YOU UP FROM LAX IN PEAK TRAFFIC.
It’s also loving your friends fiercely. Texting your family. Sending a “thinking of you” to someone going through a hard time. Kissing your dog’s forehead 49 times and saying, “You’re my Valentine,” while they stare at you like you’ve lost your god damn mind as they then go off and lose theirs.
TL; DR: Love is tiny. It’s daily. It’s often boring. And it’s wildly brave. But in a world where everyone is tired and scrolling and slightly guarded, I don’t hate the idea of one day where we’re all just… softer.
So buy the flowers that will die in four days. Eat the overpriced chocolate that’s not even that good. Text the person you’ve wanted to text but haven’t. Kiss the dog. Keep your heart open. Sure it can be embarrassing. But honestly? It’s kind of hot.
Have a great weekend all.
THE SHALLOW STUFF
Ready to laugh?
Ready to smile?
Ready for your pump up song for the weekend?
THE DEEP STUFF
Ready to cry?
Get the tissues out this week. You’ve been warned.
Ready to be inspired?
I should’ve opened up the below a long time ago. Forget a museum. I could fill up SoFi Stadium, easy.
Ready for your good deed of the week?
https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-for-james-van-der-beeks-family
TWO THINGS I’M LOVING THIS WEEK
DOCU: Glitter & Gold
